I went to the police to report more than once, but every time I did, they mocked me and said that they do not interfere in domestic issues because it is a private matter between husband and wife. And even if they intervened, we would still end up going back to each other anyway.

This year’s 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence was undoubtedly an eye-opener for us, Wake na Vijana Initiatives, as a new organization. We had an opportunity to host informal discussions with a local women’s group and conduct two Gender-Based Violence Awareness workshops in two regions of Kiambu County: Tigoni and Githurai 45.

As we conducted these workshops, engaged in group discussions, and had one-on-one conversations with participants, common themes emerged that made us question whether we are doing enough as a society and as a country to protect victims and survivors of this form of violence.

The first theme was the failure to receive adequate help from local authority when victims reported abuse as was the case with Esther  (not her real name).  Here is her story:

“A few years after we got married, my husband started beating me almost daily. Every little thing would set him off, and I would get terrified whenever he got home. As soon as I would see signs that he was about to start beating me, I would take our then only child to our neighbor’s house so she would not witness the violence. The beatings got especially worse when I was 7 months pregnant with our third child. He would beat me so severely that I thought he would kill me. I went to the police to report more than once, but every time I did, they mocked me and said that they do not interfere in domestic issues because it is a private matter between husband and wife. And even if they intervened, we would still end up going back to each other anyway.

They told me this while they could clearly see how badly beaten I was—my eyes were swollen shut, and my head was almost three times its original size. Dejected, I went home and reached a point where I stopped reporting. Whenever I would go for a regular checkup to monitor my pregnancy’s progress after my husband beat me, the nurses would threaten not to attend to me unless I told them what happened to me. I was so terrified of it getting back to my husband since the police would not help that I started coming up with lies to explain what happened to me. I would tell them that I either fell or bumped into something.

There was a day when he choked me so severely I thought he was going to kill me. On that day, his sister was actually seated right there, and when I begged her for help, she mocked me, saying, ‘You won’t be the first wife to be murdered by her husband!’ He finally let go of me, and I ran outside. While all the abuse was happening, I never realized how much my then seven-year-old understood until one day she told me, ‘Mum, what will happen to us if dad kills you?’ That shook me to the core! All along, I thought I was staying to protect my children because I was afraid his wrath would turn on them if I left, while I was actually hurting them more by staying. As soon as my daughter told me that, I knew it was time for us to leave.

One day, I left while he had gone to work. I took my children back to the village to stay with my mom while I stayed here. Now, I work odd jobs and send the little money I make back home to my mother to take care of them. I have always liked tailoring. My hope is to one day afford a sewing machine so I can supplement my income with the odd jobs and seasonal employment I get. This will help me become more economically independent and enable me to bring my children here to stay with me.”

Our goal is to empower survivors of domestic violence like Esther to be economically independent and end the cycle of violence.

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